Annie Lynn Woodward was born January 22, 2016 at 2:37 AM in
our Pepto-Bismol pink bathroom, and believe me, that was not intentional.
I had my technical first contraction around 7:30 PM as I was
finishing up a breastfeeding class 30 minutes from home. My thought was, “This
had better be labor,” since I was 9 days over due and had been having false
labors for the past month. However, I didn’t want to get my hopes up since I’d
been to the midwife that morning and was told that, since I was only 2 cm
dilated and 50% effaced, they would not be stripping my membranes, and made
plans to talk about being induced in 4 days. Also, we had company at home
(David’s mom) and company that would be stopping by later that night (our
neighbor) and I did not want people around while I was in labor. I’m the
labor-naked-in-your-kitchen-while-eating-cereal-and-rocking-your-hips kind of
person. Not the type of thing you want to be doing with company over.
I got home and continued to have light contractions
sporadically, but I didn’t want to tell David because I didn’t want to feel
pressure to be in labor since there had been at least half a dozen false
labors. However, David caught on when I grabbed a bowl of granola and
periodically rocked back and forth for a minute. Our neighbor came over and
helped David give me a blessing and then we all went to bed around 10:00
PM. By this point contractions were
coming fairly often and had built to be moderate and my mind was going like
crazy as I tried to figure out if this was labor or not. I finally went and
listened to my hypnobirthing relaxation tracks to help me go to sleep (for
those not familiar with hypnobirthing think of those apps that talk you through
relaxing to fall asleep or meditate). I was able to sleep some, but kept being
woken up by either a stronger contraction or at the end of a track. By 11 or
11:30 PM I was getting frustrated with not being able to sleep so I went and
filled up the tub. David was really sweet and got up to bring me a candle so I
could have dim lighting in the bathroom, and then brought me a throw up bucket
and a 32 ounce jug of water (this is true romance, people).
I labored in the tub for a while and had a few stronger
contractions, but they were still sporadic and after about an hour, as the
water was getting cold, I thought, “This is ridiculous, my contractions are
10-15 minutes apart and they aren’t even that strong. It is silly to be in the
tub at this point because you’ve got a whole night of labor ahead of you and
need to get your sleep.” So around 12:30 AM I hopped back into bed to warm up
and try and rest, thinking I’d probably have the baby around 6:00 AM if the
midwives were correct in their estimate that the “faster” in the statement
“second babies come faster” meant 6-8 hours of labor. I still wasn’t convinced
that it would be that fast since my first labor was 16 hours long after
contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and my contractions were still 10-15
minutes apart.
After trying to sleep for a little while, while periodically
having to jump out of bed to sway my hips through a stronger contraction, I
finally felt my contractions were close enough together that I wanted to time
them to see if it was time to head out. We needed to be to the hospital 4 hours
before delivery for IV antibiotics, but I also didn’t want to drive to the
hospital too early and be sent home. I told David I needed him to time
contractions around 1 AM and soon thereafter they became much stronger. Instead
of a contraction that would peak in intensity and then slowly decrease until it
was completely gone, in a wave, I had a contraction that would ebb and flow and
ebb and flow some 5 or 6 times before it completely diminished (David told me
these contractions lasting about 5-6 minutes with 90 seconds in between). Up until this point I had labored on my own
and not needed David’s help to relax, but now I needed him to do light touch
massage to help me completely relax through each contraction as leaned over the
bed/dresser/counter and swayed my hips fervently through each contraction. I
started having hot flashes and being pretty tired in-between contractions.
David, the best labor companion in the world, would quickly
come do light touch massage every time I called out, “David” or “help” because
at this point it was too much effort to talk, and then after each contraction he
would try and quickly put on an article of clothing or two before darting back
to help me. After getting himself dressed he started working on getting me
clothes. On with the yoga pants. On with the sweat shirt. Too hot. Off with the
sweat shirt, on with a tank top. Wrong one. Go get the more comfortable one. By
this point I had to pee (remember the 32 oz of water and the whole being 41
weeks pregnant?).
As I tried to take time to pee between contractions I did
notice a possible gushing sensation and wondered if my water had broke. During
this time I also had the feeling I might need to do number two as well. I
really didn’t think anything of it since I did that oh, 4 times or so during
labor with Ella. However, I had also been experiencing some constipation issues
due to IBS and pregnancy and things were taking a while. At one point I did actually think, “I’d
better check and make sure this is actually a bowel movement.” It was guys. No
doubt about it. However, after a few contractions I still hadn’t finished my
business and laboring while doing my business was getting kind of difficult. I
wanted to be standing and rocking during contractions, but then obviously
sitting on the toilet in between and the constant up down, up down was getting
tiring and uncomfortable and I was eager to get to the hospital before labor
got more uncomfortable because driving while in labor is the worst and I wanted
to get it out of the way ASAP.
My amazing husband offered to glove up and help move things
along since I appeared to be in a predicament. I agreed that that was a good
idea and he headed down stairs to get rubber gloves to help with the job. While
he was downstairs I thought, “I feel like this poop is getting bigger, not
smaller…I’d better check again.” There was a head. Totally crowned, partially
out; we are totally ready to have this baby right now.
When David comes back I tell him, “Bad news, you need to
call an ambulance.” So he grabs my phone, unlocks the front door, and heads
back to the bathroom. This is the best part: my phone has an app that records
all of my phone calls. Hear are some
highlights from that conversation (my thoughts are in parentheses).
David calmly gives our address and phone number and then the
dispatcher asks what our emergency was. David replies, “My wife is having a
baby,” to which the dispatcher replies “oohh.”
Dispatcher: How old is she.
David: 27
Dispatcher: And she is awake? (Duh, I’m having a baby, why
do think he called? Because I was pregnant and grunting in my sleep?)
David: She’s awake.
Dispatcher: And is she breathing? (No, I’m holding my
breath)
David: And is she completely alert? (I rolled my eyes in
annoyance at these idiotic questions and wished that she would just send help
and shut up)
After asking a few more questions she asked, “Can you see or
feel any part of the baby now.” I thought this was a really dumb question also
(why else would we be calling?), but I was surprised and annoyed that David
bent over to check and said in an exasperated voice, “a head.” The best part is
when she asked if we could see it or feel it David response was, “I can hear
it, I can see it.” It had been a long week and it was 2:30 in the morning. Haha
David asked me if I wanted to get in the tub, but I did not
want to move. In hind site, if this ever happens to you, let me just say get in
the tub. I don’t mean water birth, I mean contain that mess.
The dispatcher then asked if I was having contractions to
which David responded, “oh yeah” and she responded, “Ok, hold on I’m going to
tell you what to do next.” She then
proceeded to instruct him on pushing on the baby’s head “gently, but firmly” so
I didn’t tear. I was getting really annoyed with her unhelpful tips and asked
if paramedics were coming. She said they were and David requested told her the
front door was unlocked and asked that they please come in quietly so they
didn’t wake Ella. You can tell that she thought we were crazy, and told us that
she didn’t know if they would have sirens or not. We in turn thought she was
crazy for not understanding that we just didn’t want people pounding on our
door at 2:30 AM.
At this point you can hear me breath out loudly during a
contraction (which were 90 seconds apart and I’d had 2-3 since calling
911). She then asks if I’m still having
contractions (duh, what do you think I’m doing right now woman?!?) and tells
David to have me push really hard to get the head out (DON’T TELL ME TO PUSH!)
and at this point the contraction has really built and David and I could both
tell this baby was coming now and I audibly say, “Oh no” (I was worried about
delivering without paramedics there because I hemorrhaged with Ella). More deep breathing, David saying “deep
breath, deep breath, your doing fine, deep breath (all while our spring hinged
door bangs into David’s boot making it sound like we were beating something )
and then bam, Annie is born and announcing her arrival to the world.
David threaded her back to me through my legs and I sat on
the toilet as we all tried to get situated in our bathroom the size of a
postage stamp with a door that kept closing on poor David. The poor dispatcher
is trying to get us to listen to her and we are completely ignoring her. At
that point my mother-in-law pops her head in and David says, “Good morning,
mother,” just as the paramedics knock on the door. They clamp the cord, have
David cut it, check Annie in the living room while I walk to a gurney in my
entry way and off we go in an ambulance to LDS hospital (after a picture or
course) with Annie trying to nurse the whole way. I did have a second degree
tear externally and a minor first degree tear internally and a bugger of a
hemorrhoid (darn that mistaking a baby for a bowel movement pushing), but no
hemorrhaging and no complications with Annie.
While I was pregnant with Ella a woman I visit taught
accidentally had her baby at home in the bathroom and I remembered thinking,
“How on earth do you accidentally have your baby in the bathroom.” Don’t judge
people, do not judge. I wish I could say lesson learned, but I’m sure I will
judge people in the future. However, I now know the answer to that question.
1)
Second labors aren’t necessarily like first
labors. I was thinking I still had at least 4 hours of labor left because my
contractions weren’t predictable or even 2-3 minutes apart and they were very
minor. I only had to really focus through them at the end which at that point
it was too late to make it to the hospital anyway (I am so glad I stopped to go
to the bathroom. I would take a home birth over a car birth any day).
2)
There is a lot of stuff going on down there. Its
hard to differentiate sensations, especially if you have been told repeatedly,
“Don’t come into the hospital until your contractions are 3-4 minutes apart,”
(that was way too late in this case because they went from 10 minutes apart to
2 minutes apart in less time than it would have taken us to drive to the
hospital).
So now you know why people accidentally have babies in
bathroom and you don’t have to make the mistake of judging them for it. But if
you ever do find yourself in that predicament, don’t forget to unlock the front
door and hop in the tub.
